The Story of Fat Bastard, Jake and the rest of the backyard animals

On a recent trip to the Outer Banks we got this cool bird feeder. We really like lighthouses so I was excited about cool lighthouse shaped bird feeder. We put the feeder up a week ago. I can't even tell you how many times we have filled it up. That would be because of Fat Bastard.

Yes he is a squirrel and yes I hate him. I do. He has managed to eat about 4 pounds of birdseed in a 3 day period. No lie. Yesterday he managed to eat every bit of seed in the feeder while we were at work. I think he believe he has discovered his own "all you can eat" buffet. I didn't see a bit of him last night, I am assuming it was because he was looking for some antacid to get over his indigestion from the binge.

If something were to mysteriously happen to him I would not be sad in the least bit. I am not going to say that I am an advocate of squirrel murder, nor do I plan on doing Fat Bastard any harm. But I would not shed a tear if he were never to return. More to come on that later...

This is Jake. As in Jake Ryan. As in Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles. Okay there were no birds in Sixteen Candles but I think this bird is as beautiful as Jake. This isn't the best picture of him, but he is pretty skittish so this is the best picture I was able to get. He has the prettiest blue and white feathers all over his back side. Jake is my favorite bird that comes by.

This isn't a great picture, but there is a finch and a female cardinal on the feeder. I didn't realize how much I would enjoy having a bird feeder but I can see this one from my kitchen window and I love it! I do feel like I have aged myself by naming a bird (Jake), but he is the only one I have named. I am just hoping we can come to a peaceful resolution with Fat Bastard. Especially before he invites all his squirrel friends over for party on my deck.

Sad Day

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/3051932/

The Wedding Monster

So I am already experiencing what I will call "The Wedding Monster." The Wedding Monster is two fold. The first part is that your wedding (in this case my wedding) turns into something far bigger and more complicated than you pictured. It turns into its own monster. The second part of the wedding monster is that it turns me into a wedding obsessed crazy person. I have yet to go all Bridezilla on anyone, but try as I might I can't free my mind from wedding related thoughts. It is so frustrating! I don't know how I am going to survive the next 15 months. I might end up running away screaming...

My New Year

So I am going to make a conscience effort to post on a more regular basis. You could say it's one of my New Year's Resolutions. Although if you said that you would be wrong, because I didn't make any resolutions this year. If you don't bother making any, then you have nothing to feel guilty about at the end of the year, right? Okay maybe I am on my own with that thinking, but that's alright. So anyway I thought I would share how I rang in the new year. Jon ALWAYS has to work New Year's Day (and be at work before 7am) so it has been a while since we have gone out to do anything. That being said, I didn't feel too bad about accepting a babysitting job that night. I figured maybe it would be a good sign to ring in the new year making money. Anyway, I have FINALLY realized (after years and years of babysitting) that when parents tell you what time they will be back they are totally bullshitting you. I don't blame them, asking someone to sit til 11:30 or 12 sounds way better than asking someone to sit in your dark quiet house til 1am.

I don't mean to complain too much, I appreciate the babysitting opportunities I get and none of the kids I watch are holy terrors, so it's not so bad. But sitting on New Year's Eve was a new experience for me. The parents (2 sets, I had 5 kids) went to a party 2 houses down, so I certainly could have gotten them to come home if the need had arisen. I didn't have any issues until after I rang in the New Year by myself on a stranger's couch. My evening went something like this:

12:0am Happy New Year!

12:01am Surely they will be home soon, they told me they would...

12:05am Jon calls to tell me Happy New Year. I tell him I think I will be home in about 20 minutes. Ha.

12:16am There is nothing on TV.

12:25am I can't stand Ryan Seacrest (nor do I care if I just misspelled his name).

12:35am What is that beeping?

12:43am It's still beeping.

12:47am Okay, where are they?

12:59am Countdown again for the Central Time Zone.

1:05am Surely they will be home soon. (Ha again.)

1:12am That 2ft Santa figure by the tree is totally freaking me out.

1:17am Man what do they set their heat on, Arctic chill?

1:23am Still beeping.

1:35am Seriously, I think Santa just moved. Better not look away, he might take the opportunity to run and jump on the couch and start hitting me with the stick he is holding.

1:43am Totally freezing. Teeth might start chattering.

1:45am Parents arrive home, I get paid.

Happy New Year!