Dear Monday,
You are a jerk. A dirty rotten jerk. You think you are so smooth, sneaking up on us each week. I think you paid Sunday off to leave early. Then you take your sweet time, dragging on. None of the other days are as long as you are. You make things suck. You start early and end late. You cause everyone to run late in the mornings. You make it hard to get out of bed. I think you have even convinced Tuesday and Wednesday to drag on a little too. It's a good thing Thursday and Friday aren't in on it. Thursday is just looking for the weekend and Friday is already kicking back in Bermuda shorts, flip flops and drinking a beer. Saturday is in his own little world. Sunday used to be too, but I am starting to think you are tricking him to go along with your evil little plan. What is the deal? Why do you hate us so much? What did we ever do to you? I know you don't like that many federal holidays fall on Mondays, but that should make you happy. For those brief moments people like you almost as much as Saturday and at least as much as Sunday. Those weeks you are a bonus, you are the "cool guy."
Anyway Monday, you need to lay off a little. You just come in like such a jerk. Please Monday, give us a break. Understand that it isn't you that we don't like so much. It is the idea that another week is beginning and we just aren't ready. Please Monday, just get off our backs.
