Life Would Be Boring If Everything Were Easy

This is my new mantra. For those of you that have been waiting on a new post, I apologize. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to say, so I didn't say anything at all. I am fine physically, at least according to doctors, so that is good and I will leave it at that. I have come to realize I am going to have to make some changes in my life that are necessary, but I am not exactly thrilled about. But that is life. As I stated above, life would be boring if everything were easy. When I was a kid, I used to say that phrase that many kids say "That's not fair." My dad would follow up with "Life's not fair." But I think the statement he made that had the most wisdom was "Fair is when everyone gets what they want. Equal is when everyone gets the same." And he is right. Life's not fair because we don't always get what we want. But it is learning from those scenarios is what enables us to grow and become better people because of it. You have to think though, if we were never challenged, would we ever reach our full potential? Probably not. Shitty things happen. Lots of times they happen to good people. But that is life. We take what we are given, and we are to be thankful. Believe me, I am thankful. I am thankful for my family, my friends, my home, my job, everything that I have ever been blessed with. Yeah, sucky things have happened to me. I am sure sucky things have happened to you as well. But the most important thing is to keep your chin up and keep going. You have to know that getting through whatever hard time you may be encountering will only make you stronger.

The Stuff No One Tells You

No one tells you that your college graduation day will be not only one of the most exciting days of your life, but also the scariest. I remember thinking on that beautiful May day, now what? Everything I had worked for the most of my life was all over. I went to college. Got a degree. Now what am I supposed to do? I had no idea looking for my first job would be the most stressful/frustrating things I would do in my life thus far. I had been looking for a job while I was still in school, but taking 17 credit hours, working 20 hours a week, and being president of an organization didn't lend large amounts of free time so while I looked I still had to focus on the goal - graduation. I spent that entire summer looking. Interviewing, looking, emailing/faxing/mailing resumes. Nothing. I would put a smile on my face and walk into that room and convince myself I really did want that job. When fall came I began to feel like a failure. All the "smart" classmates of mine were just beginning grad school. (I tend to think many of them were scared and unsure too, that's why they so willingly jumped into a few more years of school. No offense to those that did choose grad school right after graduation -- my statement was not meant as an insult.)

I still didn't have a job. It seemed like everyone that was interested in hiring me barely paid above minimum wage. I was flabbergasted. I went to college. I did what I was supposed to do. I followed the rules. Isn't there supposed to be a job for me? A decent paying, entry-level job? I finally did find my first "real" job. I settled for a position barely paying above minimum wage as a track out day camp counselor (read: glorified babysitter). Needless to say I kept looking. After two miserable weeks at my "first grown up job" I started my second.

No one prepares you for the real world. No one tells you that entering the work force post college, no matter how "great" the job, you will be a peon. You will start at the bottom of the barrel. You will not get vacation time right away and you might even be doing tasks you feel are so below you. After all, you went to college. From what I have heard, it's called paying your dues. No one prepares you for this though. No one tells you that you will be broke and miserable and wonder "how did I get here?" I had internships, I had jobs in college. No one tells you that stuff doesn't matter in the "real world."

Now I know this sounds like a complete bitch-fest, and it partly is. But don't get me wrong, I wouldn't go back to college if you paid me and I do like my job. It's just things are not what you expect them to be. No one prepares you. Maybe because no one prepared them. The suffered through their post collegiate early twenties too. Maybe it's a rite of passage.

Seriously?

So I have been waiting expectantly for a phone call from my doctor's office all day. I actually called them at 2. I left my mobile number so I could be easily reached. Not only that, I have been carrying around my cell phone since then, not leaving it alone for a second so I don't miss a call. Still nothing. Seriously? Don't they understand the world revolves around me?

No More WebMD for Me

Okay so in the last 2-3 hours I have convinced myself that I have one or more of the following disorders/diseases:

-Lupus
-Cancer
-Heart Disease
-Arthritis
-Crohn's Disease
-Hypothyriodism
-Anemia
-Rejection of an organ transplant (okay, I haven't had an organ transplant, at least, that I know of, but maybe something happened when I was a baby that my parents never told me about?? It could happen...)
-Polymyalgia Rheumatica (I am not even sure what that is, but I might have it. You never know...)

Anyway, I have been informed by my best friend and a co-worker that I must stop googling disorders and stop freaking out. So I will go, and enjoy my weekend disease-free. But let me just say that WebMD is a hypochondriac's worst nightmare/best friend. Oh well. We all have our vices.

Just Another (Crap) Day in Paradise

So my Friday hasn't exactly gone according to plan. I spent all morning dealing with a car problem that left me stranded in BFE. Then I call my doctor's office to find out the results of some testing that they had done earlier in the week. The results didn't tell me much, just that I need more testing done. And the nurse practitioner that ordered the tests won't be in until Tuesday to discuss the results and next steps. Are you kidding me? I feel like crap everyday and I won't even be able to talk to her again about the next step until TUESDAY???? Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck. I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, I'm just not the happiest camper at the moment. So if you are Protestant, say a little prayer for me. If you are Catholic, light a candle. And if you are a Scientologist, call up Tom Cruise. Maybe he can use some of his witchcraft to help me out.